Sunday, January 30, 2011

being vulnerable

When I started blogging 2 years ago, I felt more creative and free to put myself out there. Then it sank in. People were actually reading my blog.

I wondered why anyone would read what I was doing even though I began blogging because I was so inspired by the blogging world around me. I enjoy reading what everyone is doing - from the mundane to the most creative.

When I read the post Renee wrote this weekend, she linked to this TED talk. Everything became clear to me about why I've been struggling with blogging. I want very much to feel connected but I've also been feeling so vulnerable.

I've needed to find the courage to be imperfect.
I've needed to ride the wave of vulnerability.

I've done many things on purpose in order to grow as a person. We all have. Vulnerability is painful and takes courage but I think we all know it's the birthplace of joy, love, creativity and belonging. No pain, no gain...

I've also learned that I need others to show a bit of vulnerability
in order for me to feel connected to them.

So, I continue to blog,
to find the courage to put myself out there,
to grow as a person
and make those connections.


  1. So beautifully said Kyndale. I think you are right. There is so much to be gained when we risk a bit of ourselves. I'm certainly glad for your friendship which wouldn't be possible without blogging!

  2. Thank you friend for sharing this.

    What makes me feel especially awkward is when I run into people in everyday life, like our librarians, who read my blog. And then I think "wow, these people know a lot more about me than I know about them" and I feel vulnerable in that situation. I truly like to know people. To exchange ideas, hear their unique perspective on life and learn from what they have to share. That is one of the beauties of blogging, like you've mentioned. I've learned so much from the mundane details of people's lives to the wow, spectacular moments.

    Thank you for opening yourself to us Kyndale. You are a beautiful person through and through and are definitely one of the people I've met on the web who I esteem because of your obvious family and homemaking values.

  3. I just finished watching that TED talk and it really struck a chord with me as well. Blogging for me is about saving memories so my little family and I don't forget the wonderful times we shared. Being vunerable is such a scary thing but I love the way that Dr. Brown said we must become vunerable to make our connections. So glad we've all connected online and can share our journeys. Always thankful for you Kyndale and all that you share. Welcome to your new home.

  4. I agree, with feeling vulnerable. It's hard. I struggle with this often. Putting it all out there for everyone to see (and judge!) is so hard for me. But I think there is good in it too.

  5. i'm listening right now. it's so good. i relate so much......and my heart is so happy to be reminded of the beauty and necessity of vulnerability for true authentic connection. and joy and creativity and belonging and love, as she says. you feel vulnerable to me often, and that's why i feel connected to you. but it can always deeper, and that's why you are awesome for doing the work of going deeper. and your heart grows bigger, and then so can those around you. and i'd still love to have two beers and a banana nut muffin with you some day.

    i am enough. i want to tattoo that somewhere.

  6. I struggle with that too. I like my blog to be so positive because it keeps me away from the realities of my struggles. I share the same mindset, putting your dirty laundry and real struggles is difficult.

  7. I like honesty in a blog. I understand keeping things positive but a little vulnerabilty mixed with honesty is the ideal for me.

    I'm glad you are back to blogging. I appreciate what you have to share.

  8. I agree. I think we can get a sense of each other through our blogs and make connections just like we would at the playground or the super market. Glad you're in the hood!:)

  9. thank you, thank you everyone. I was a bit scared to check the response this morning :)

    Kerry, thanks for being such a good friend to me.

    Renee, that would be so weird to know my librarian read my blog. I have yet to share my blog with some of my friends. :|

    Kelly, there is so much good to be had when we face our fears. This is very similar to what we've been talking about...feeling our pain instead of stuffing it away.

    Heather, I would love to get a tattoo that said, "I'm good enough" Let's talk!

    This is my life, I'm sorry, I don't know your name. But, I do like to stay on the positive but it's important to see some show my human-ness sometimes :)

    Grace, I agree. I loved your Haiku today :)

    Thanks Sarah Jane, I'm glad you're in the hood too :)

  10. Valarie, I missed you. I loved that TED talk and I was surprised to see all the negative comments. But, as a layman on the subject, it makes so much sense! :)

  11. One thing that I have found is the amount of compassion and understanding our blog world seems to hold for heart opening posts. So many take the time to pour out their support when we take the time to be real. I'm so glad you are still here!


  12. I look forward to listening to the TED talk and wonder what thoughts it will give me. I often why I continue to blog and if I share enough or too much. I definitely don't have the time to sit down and write out the thoughts I have during the day that I'd love to share with other likeminded folk, but I guess that is life right now.

  13. Thanks for that link, really beautiful.
    Also, I have mostly lost interest in blogs that portray life as a series of perfect moments.
    Here's to vulnerability!

  14. Oh Kyndale, Little did I know you were writing this a few days ago, as what I wrote today. I so enjoy your blog and checking in with your real world. Life isn't perfect and I appreciate all that a mama shares in her space. It does take courage, risking baring your all to a world of faceless strangers. But the risk is worth it when I connect with people like you:)
    xo Jules

  15. This is a lovely post, thank you. I've been lurking around the blog world for a bit but have just started blogging myself. I'm still in the honeymoon phase getting so excited if anyone comments. Now my head is spinning a bit thinking about the nature of it all. I do love sharing and seeing what other folks are doing. I feel inspired, enlightened and proud by the things I read. I will continue on this blogging journey and look forward to reading yours.

  16. I wrote this down while reading a piece about Montaigne, who is kind of the father of the essay and maybe the grandfather of the blog. It seems relevant to your post:

    "As my fancies present themselves, I pile them up, now they come pressing in a crowd, now dragging single file. I want people to see my natural and ordinary pace, however off track it is."

  17. amen, love!!
    well said, beautiful crafted through words..

  18. So very well put and I am so so glad you are embracing vulnerability and continuing to blog. I would miss your online self if you didn't!

  19. i will have to check out that ted. vulnerability is easier for me online than in person sometimes. but i always wonder how much to share. best to you!

  20. right on, sister! It is hard tpo put yourself out there and blogging lends itself to posturing and pretense of all sorts. I think it is much harder to stay real and much easier to be connected if you ARE real.

  21. you've got a new reader here. See what honesty gets you?

  22. Amen to all of that. Blogging is a wild ride...for me, exceedingly gratifying and, at times, terrifying. I am pretty much only interested in blogs that are honest and relatable.

    Thanks for your comments.

  23. this was wonderful. came over from earth mama. i feel safe with bloggers, really. it's the other people in my life i wonder about. in-laws that read my blog or friends that hear about it...then yes they know more about me...and i wonder.

    thank you for this, looking forward to the TED talk when i get a chance.

  24. I am offering my comment, that I too, appreciate your vulnerability and that it adds to the outwards spiral of my own healing, and becoming my vulnerable and compassionate self. I have written many posts (in complete terror at times!) about grief, as it has been a huge wave our family has ridden over the past couple of years with three family members passing away in 2 and 1/2 years, and I need to know that my authenticity is valued. The readers who visit my blog affirm that I am okay, in my grief, in my healing, wherever and however I am at that time. That is such meaningful connection for me! Being vulnerable is such a gift to give...thank-you!


  25. So honest and lovely. Thanks for sharing and for putting yourself out there.

  26. hey sweetie, thank you for sharing your heart i am happy in knowing you kyndale you are a thoughtful person and beautiful mother to name just a few... xo