Wednesday, March 7, 2012

quality time with the kids

So, I have something in my bag of tricks I use for emergences.  I'm not talking about a true emergency but sometimes my small ones can perceive an unkind word from a sibling or a skinned knee as such.  I get it.

I couldn't think of anything better in these types of situations than a good, old-fashioned foot rub.

A while back when my kids were little I loved breastfeeding.  If they were upset or tired or hurt I  could put them on my breast and the the troubles of the world would melt away.  It was my savior most days.  Then when my last one decided to wean himself, I felt like my mama magic was gone.

My kids ask for a foot massages now and sometimes, when life is just too much, I bring them to a sunny, quiet spot in the house and rub their feet while we talk through the problem.  Or sometimes I rub their feet, and legs and knees while they cry.

Usually, I like to be fair and rub everyone's feet.  Sometimes, it's just a special thing for one of them.  Sometimes it's before bed or after a long day.  Sometimes it's mama that's lucky enough to get a foot massage too. 

The other day, Eli asked for a foot massage not because there was anything particularly wrong but because he's come to like that connection between us.  I like it too.  It grounds me and makes me present. It also made me realize the other day that by asking me to rub his feet (and legs and knees!) that he is learning how to cope with life's stresses in a healthy way and in turn filling up his own bag of tricks. I love that.

I would love to hear what you have in your bag of tricks to sooth your kids when they're upset.


  1. those pictures are so awesome. and this post is too. sometimes you are the most inspiring blogger in the world. i've felt that many times. so down to earth kyndale! i need more of your kind giving me ideas please. i'm thinking on what i do....i still hold olive. love to hold her. i like to rub heads. i can see myself rubbing max and zhi's heads as i ponder what i do to soothe them. ha! that hair lends to me touching it i guess. we rub backs a lot too. i could use more tricks though. you are making me want to be more conscious on this front of soothing them, and like you said, helping them learn in their bones these healthy ways of dealing with stress and painful emotions. thanks love.

  2. My dad used to give me foot rubs as a child/young adult (as a teen I was not interested). So nice. My youngest daughter likes me rubbing her legs and feet with our homemade lotion; really soothes her spirit.

  3. My son is young enough that kisses fix every boo boo immediately. Simple hugs and alone time workks well. Anything where they have my full attention.

  4. I love this idea. I do this for Mike (husband) sometime, but I honestly never thought to do it with my kids. With them, it is a snuggle and a book. I plop down and start reading a book. Sometimes I have to pluck them up and snuggle them in first. Sometimes, they come over and tuck in around me. My big girl (a tall, youthful 7) still likes to sit on my lap. (It is getting awkward, but if she's not letting go, I am not ready to either!)

  5. simple touch, so healing. sweet to tune into your kids' needs.

  6. I love kids feet with all my soul and heart