I did pretty well this week holding it all together.
There was a business trip in the middle of the week and then another on Friday. By the time Sunday rolled around, I was exhausted doing the nighttime routine all alone for 4 nights. Later on Sunday when Jonathan came home, I took Amelia to study with a friend and decided what I really needed was quiet time....alone thank you very much. I went for a hike in the hills and was able to actually think. You know, really think without trying to think and answer questions at the same time? I walked deliberately up and down the trail taking in each breath with intention. I smiled at each passerby and let the dogs smell my hand while keeping my steady pace. My face was red and my legs felt worked by the end. Sometimes the only way I'm really able to work things out is to walk up hills and get quiet in my head. It's so helpful.
|another hike this week on the Carson River|
|another hike earlier this week|
Earlier that day I took Eli grocery shopping with me. He talks a lot. I listen and sometimes throw some conversation his way. But, this time his conversation was just what I needed.
"I talk to God mom," Eli says.
"How do you do that?" I ask
"I listen," Eli informs me.
"Do you have to quiet your mind?," I ask
"Yes and I have to think. God just said goodbye," Eli tells me.
"Wow, that's so cool Eli," I say
"Yeah, he's a good friend," Eli says with a smile.
It makes me smile widely too knowing he talks to God. And I'm glad to be on the receiving end of these conversations, being able to ask the questions for once.
On my mommy alone hike, I quieted my mind and really tried to listen.