earthy crunchy

foot love

2012-03-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

So, I have something in my bag of tricks I use for emergences. I'm not talking about a true emergency but sometimes my small ones can perceive an unkind word from a sibling or a skinned knee as such. I get it.

I couldn't think of anything better in these types of situations than a good, old-fashioned foot rub.

A while back when my kids were little I loved breastfeeding. If they were upset or tired or hurt I could put them on my breast and the the troubles of the world would melt away. It was my savior most days. Then when my last one decided to wean himself, I felt like my mama magic was gone.

My kids ask for a foot massages now and sometimes, when life is just too much, I bring them to a sunny, quiet spot in the house and rub their feet while we talk through the problem. Or sometimes I rub their feet, and legs and knees while they cry.

Usually, I like to be fair and rub everyone's feet. Sometimes, it's just a special thing for one of them. Sometimes it's before bed or after a long day. Sometimes it's mama that's lucky enough to get a foot massage too.

The other day, Eli asked for a foot massage not because there was anything particularly wrong but because he's come to like that connection between us. I like it too. It grounds me and makes me present. It also made me realize the other day that by asking me to rub his feet (and legs and knees!) that he is learning how to cope with life's stresses in a healthy way and in turn filling up his own bag of tricks. I love that.

I would love to hear what you have in your bag of tricks to sooth your kids when they're upset.

2012-02-28T19:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was taking the scraps out to the compost heap and the snow was crunching under my feet. It reminded me that I needed to write down some things that have made me happy lately. I came inside and wrote down a few things on sticky notes so I wouldn't forget.

the sound of snow crunching under my feet.
fresh flowers in the bathroom.
good sleep.
a clean kitchen.
snow on the fence.
buds on the trees and the promise of spring.
seed catalogs.
using up the pesto in my freezer.
old subtitled godzilla movies.
the light coming back to us as spring approaches.
my dog.

What's making you happy lately?

quiet

2012-02-27T16:23:00.000-08:00

I admit it. That last post was a lame attempt at posting something while the in the midst of a super busy, tiring week. It all started out last weekend when Jonathan took Solomon to San Francisco for a memorial in honor is his father who passed away last June. Jonathan came home sick. And you know how that goes, if someone brings home something good, everyone wants some.

I did pretty well this week holding it all together.

There was a business trip in the middle of the week and then another on Friday. By the time Sunday rolled around, I was exhausted doing the nighttime routine all alone for 4 nights. Later on Sunday when Jonathan came home, I took Amelia to study with a friend and decided what I really needed was quiet time....alone thank you very much. I went for a hike in the hills and was able to actually think. You know, really think without trying to think and answer questions at the same time? I walked deliberately up and down the trail taking in each breath with intention. I smiled at each passerby and let the dogs smell my hand while keeping my steady pace. My face was red and my legs felt worked by the end. Sometimes the only way I'm really able to work things out is to walk up hills and get quiet in my head. It's so helpful.

another hike this week on the Carson River

another hike earlier this week

Earlier that day I took Eli grocery shopping with me. He talks a lot. I listen and sometimes throw some conversation his way. But, this time his conversation was just what I needed.

"I talk to God mom," Eli says.

"How do you do that?" I ask

"I listen," Eli informs me.

"Do you have to quiet your mind?," I ask

"Yes and I have to think. God just said goodbye," Eli tells me.

"Wow, that's so cool Eli," I say

"Yeah, he's a good friend," Eli says with a smile.

It makes me smile widely too knowing he talks to God. And I'm glad to be on the receiving end of these conversations, being able to ask the questions for once.

On my mommy alone hike, I quieted my mind and really tried to listen.

in the kitchen

2012-02-23T21:18:00.000-08:00

personalities

2012-02-21T19:01:00.001-08:00

These personalities of mine. I find great joy in watching my children unfold into their own uniqueness. My boys could not be more different. Eli has brown eyes and blondish hair. He tells me when he grows up he wants to live in the city and drive a monster truck with flames painted on it. He is extremely confident and he gets very hurt if his sister gets mad at him.

Solomon is my sweet boy, always opening doors for us. He has deep blue eyes, freckles and thick, strawberry blond hair that I can't stop from rubbing my hands through. He's shy but warms up and can be very silly. He loves giving out kisses and will be the first to hug someone or give them a sweet look or smile.

I like to take my kids either one at a time or two at a time, doing something special or sometimes just ordinary things like shopping on the weekends. I always get more out of my time with them if we're on a "date." This particular day Amelia was at a friend's house working on a project so I took the boys for a walk.

Solomon likes me to take pictures of him while climbing on rocks. None of my other kids do this. Here, he put this dried plant on his head and posed several times very serious like. He's so funny.

Eli asks questions. My two other kids asked lots of questions when they were five but I don't remember them being so persistent. His favorite phrase is, "Right mom?" The boy is an expert at asking questions. Of course I try to answer them all but sometimes I glaze over.

Eli found this rock and ran after me screaming, "I found gold, I found gold!!!!!!" "Right mom?" I had to break it to him that it was a very pretty rock but not gold. "Is is a diamond?" No, it's not a diamond, I tell him. It's a rock......daddy will know what it is (ha, poor dad). "Then is it pure gold?" This conversation continued all the way home. Then, he dropped it somewhere in the car.

weekending

2012-02-18T19:35:00.000-08:00

lovin' the snow

2012-02-15T19:49:00.000-08:00

It's what everyone talks about around here. This winter has been so dry that all I dream about is waking to a bunch of snow. Well, this morning we woke to 3 inches of fluffy white. I was pretty stoked about it. Of course, Wednesdays are the busiest day of the week. So, when the kids got out of bed, they suited up and headed out into the backyard for a few runs before we had to rush out the door. We are lucky enough to have a small hill for sledding. Just big enough for small thrills.

Now, I'm just praying that we get a bunch more snow before spring.

on my mind

2012-02-14T17:01:00.000-08:00

I've had some things weighing heavy on my heart lately.

A few years ago I had never read a blog. My friend had one and so I started reading her stuff and then I stumbled upon a whole community of moms out there that I could really relate to. To be honest, I didn't have a bunch of close friends (just a few) that I could talk with about the environment or wholesome parenting or cooking with organic, local foods. I felt so isolated. So, when I found blogging, I was hungry for connection and validation for how I wanted to live and raise my family.

Then about three years ago this February I started my own blog. I didn't really know what to expect but I was eager for the challenge. I've met so many wonderful people. I felt connected and the amount of creative inspiration was endless. I was equally overwhelmed and motivated by all of you. I ate it all up.

As you may know, the honeymoon phase lasts only so long and I began to feel like blogging was my proverbial ball and chain. Not that I didn't love to have you all in my life. I'm an introvert and need my down time really. In order to really be successful I would have to go 110% at the blog thing or slink away into the shadows? I realized very quickly that I wasn't going to be a Soulemama. Or maybe I just don't believe in myself. I don't know but most of the inspiration I get from the internet are from little bloggers like me, not the bloggers that have a book deal waiting in the wings (No offense meant here. I love Amanda's blog, she's amazing). But, most blogs I read are the ones written by normal moms that I find something in common with.

I'm also insanely busy. How can I only put half of my heart into this when I have so many things vying for my time? (I was just called outside because the boys wanted to show me their volcano they made in the sand.) Since September when, as a family, we decided to try an on-line school and the work really began. I just started feeling like I had no room to breathe. My son has learning disabilities and I've been driving everywhere to get him tested and back and forth to speech therapy. (Eli just wanted me to get him some new clothes so that he can go back outside to get muddy again. Oh gosh, they just came inside and are in the bath.) It really never stops. I have come to really accept that my job as a full time mom is a legitimate endeavor. I've sometimes fallen into believing that mothers who choose to stay home (me being one, ouch) are not being fulfilled. Maybe that's because someone very close to me asked why I was wasting my college degree by being a stay home mom. That was a huge blow but I'm strong and I have strong opinions. Work is work is work and this staying home business is really important work. But, I'm straying from the real topic here. Blogging.

There's the part about blogging that makes me feel uneasy like exposing my children to anyone who has a computer. It's pretty freaky to think about. It's like inviting total strangers into my home and into my personal thoughts. I have more than once thought about my creepy neighbors being able to google my name and find my blog. I wrote about vulnerability a while back and that's what I was really talking about. I don't like feeling vulnerable like that. It's when I feel exposed that I want to pull away and quit.

It's been time to weigh the pros and cons. Do I continue, sporadically to blog? Do I just quit altogether? It happens to the bes t of us. I started thinking about how challenging writing is for me. I'm not a writer although I can write a sentence. Being able to write a sentence does not make one a writer! Do I take amazing pictures? I like them. Is my life inspiring? Should I really care whether someone likes what I write or the pictures I take? I don't think so. But, it's sure nice to be loved. I'm feeling very exposed right now.

Just when I think this is the end, I'll find my daughter on her computer looking through old posts of mine. I think, "I can't stop documenting my mundane, real life here." Which brings me to the real reason why I should be blogging. It's not only for my kids but it's for me. I want to challenge myself. I like being able to write my thoughts down and send them out into the universe. No matter who may be looking. This has felt good to get out. I think what it boils down to is balance. Like for instance, making sad looking, out of season, conventional chocolate dipped strawberries for valentines day. Balance.

Love to you all!

sunny winter

2012-02-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, I know. There's been so much to say and not much at all really. When I'm asked what I've been up to, most days it's just nothing really but the every day stuff, you know? Our computer died back a few weeks ago though and we replaced it with a used job. That's the main reason I've taken a break. But, it's taken us this much time to put all our programs back on the computer. And still more time again to sit down and want to upload pictures and write something down. So, here I am again. At least for today.

I'm pretty sure I love taking pictures of the kids doing art. Some in their pajamas and some not. We homeschool after all. It's quiet in the house. The only sounds I can hear are the washing machine and dryer clanking and swishing down the hall and the kids intently working with paint. The chairs creak and the paint brushes flow from paint to paper to water and back again quietly.....peacefully. Our kitchen table is the hub for so much of our activities. It's really the heart of our home. But our home is pretty small. Just the way I like it. If I had a million bucks, I would still have a little place, all cozy and intimate.

The glob paint we're using today smells delicious: berries, pomegranate and lemon verbena. The colors are pretty awesome too.

Happy sunny, I think it's winter day to you!

Hello 2012, It's Me

2012-01-01T11:42:00.000-08:00

If you're reading this, you've also made it through the holidays. (Insert the deep breath here). I feel like this time of year I'm teetering on the edge, ready to fly. Sometimes it feels like I'm coming out of a dream into the light. The new year always holds so many possibilities for me. It's as if I can start fresh about the way I think of myself and the world. Nothing can stop me from doing the things I want to do. No self doubt. No boundaries.

The kids wanted to roast marshmallows in the backyard last night. As we stood around the warmth, we talked about what we wanted for 2012. Jonathan wants to go on a road trip to see Bryce Canyon. I want to get the kiln we've had in our garage working.

Other than the things we want to do, I think about what I want for myself personally. I hope this year I can love everything about myself more fully. The good and bad. I want to live simpler, purging all the old things that don't serve me well. I would like to continue to be with people that are uplifting and positive and open to becoming better versions of themselves.

I want to bake more. The banana bread aroma coming from the oven right now is heavenly.

Wishing you all a wonderful year in 2012. May we all become a bit wiser in the coming year and enjoy every moment as much as humanly possible!

inside ~ outside

2011-12-21T16:06:00.000-08:00

~Inside ~

~ outside ~

I needed to be outside yesterday. Of course, one little person in my family thought he just wanted to be inside all day. But as I explained, sometimes a family has to do things that's for the good of all it's members. Even if one person doesn't want to do it. I also tried to convince him that he would enjoy the place I was taking him to.

When we got to our destination, after listening to crying the whole trip, he held my hand tight and walked with me along the path. Shortly thereafter, he forgot about his previously strong opinion and had fun. I'm talking very strong opinion. We saw hawks and falcons. The sun was shining and I soaked up all that warmth on my skin. We heard the chirps of birds. At one point far off, there was a loud uprising in the sea of cattails and we heard the birds sounding their alarm that came toward us like a wave. It was a beautiful day. Then I was ready to come home.

Happy Solstice!

in the eye of the storm, i am calm

2011-12-15T19:26:00.000-08:00

Around this time of year (and all other times), I avoid shopping malls and all the people gorging themselves on huge pieces of chocolate shopping cake. It feels like I'm in the eye of the storm. It's calm and everyone is losing their mind around me.

Although, at times, I'm losing my mind a little with all this sewing. If I said I totally got this holiday stress under control, that would be a complete lie. I just need to keep my focus. Remember what this season is all about. And not worry at all that our handmades will arrive once again after Christmas. Just know two things about me. I'm almost always a week late with holiday or birthday gifts and if you leave a message on my cell phone, I may not get it for a week because it usually lives under a seat in my car and I don't check it often.

I have realized over the years that I have absolutely no control over the tree decorating. I've completely surrendered to that. Lego airplanes dominate the lower branches. Sweet, I love it.

One more thing about me. I love simple meals. I found this recipe in one of those magazines at the health food store (Delicious Living December 2011). It's really good.

Cauliflower, Celery, and Leek Soup

Saute one medium leek thinly sliced and 7 celery stalks thinly sliced in 3 TB of olive oil for 4 minutes. Add one pound of cauliflower and 4 cups of broth. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer covered until veggies are tender. I added my favorite seasoning blend. Once cooked, I blended in blender and put back in the pot with a little cream. Added salt and pepper to taste.

Oh and one more thing...I deleted intense debate because every month or so it would completely lose my comments. The down side of that is that any comment that you ever left on my blog through intense debate has been deleted. sigh...

Finding the perfect tree

2011-12-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

Finding a perfect tree in the forest is kind of like having a favorite child. Well, not really but the trees are all perfect in my eyes. Eventually, however, we'll have to pick one to cut down. It's a family effort and decision. It has to be big enough but not too big. It can't have huge bare spots. After a nice hike we found the one the right one and got straight to work. It was very cold after all. "Let's get this thing and get out of here!"

It was a beautiful day to get our Christmas tree. Not like last year. Goodness, we had to scrap those plans altogether and get our tree from a tree lot. I was alright with it but the kids love our tradition of cutting down our own.

We all took turns using the saw. Slow going that tree sawing with our ancient saw. I said we should have gotten a new one a few years ago and then forgot until the next year and so on. I swear we're getting a new one next year!

This tree, we estimated from the rings, grew 23 years for us. The tree right next to it will have more sun. We make it a point to be very thoughtful when picking our tree. After all, the way I see it, the tree has given it's life for our pleasure and we should respect it.

Then there's the family photo I try and get. This time the dog won't cooperate. He was pretty jazzed about being in the forest. We didn't see a soul out there.

As tradition goes, we head back to the car and drink our hot cocoa or hot chai with honey and milk if you don't have hot cocoa. Then we head home and mama puts the lights on.

This is the start of Christmas for us!

grateful for fog and things

2011-11-28T16:25:00.000-08:00

San Francisco for Thanksgiving. We woke up, all huddled together, studying the fog outside. At home we rarely experience fog. I absolutely love the humidity after living in the desert for 9 years. My skin starts loving the extra moisture around Sacramento and by the time we hit the Bay Bridge, I feel like I'm getting a facial!

Lately I've been reading in The Heart of Learning about expansion and contraction. Here's a little excerpt:

"Expansion and contraction are primal forces that influence every aspect of life. They are visible in the cycle of the year, the rhythm of the day and night, and the phases of the moon. They can be seen in the growth of the plants and the instinctive activity of wild animals. We can observe their operation several times within the span of a minute, or watch them move gradually over the course of a lifetime."

"Learning how to work with these powerful opposing forces is important for every parent. If we are to work effectively with our children, we must be able to understand and encompass both these polarities."

So, you see these ideas of contracting and expanding are powerful and necessary parts to rhythm that we should understand with regard to our children. I've been spending most of my time thinking about this idea and it's been pretty eye opening. I've been able to solve conflicts with my children just by feeling where they are and where I can direct them to. Simply put, we either are too expanded or too much in our head and need to work toward the opposite polarity. Pretty cool parenting tool!

Change has always been hard for me since I'm a very sensitive person. I have to remember this during this transitional time between summer and winter (which I believe is contracting but let me know if I'm wrong!).

Back to Thanksgiving though. We had a great time. We spent time with family. We ate some delicious food. That's all that matters right? Oh yeah, and we also took Zephyr for his first walk on the beach. We played games like dominoes with tape cases and this fun game.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend! I'm grateful for so many things. It's humbling. xo

sneaking in some sunshine

2011-11-14T07:38:00.000-08:00

We snuck a bit of sunshine this weekend. It's always hard getting out the door, making sure we have a snack, water, jackets and shoes for everyone. We don't wear shoes in the house and it's the one question I always ask when we're driving away down the street, "You all have shoes right?"

This place we go to is all the way across town but the Aspens are gorgeous. We didn't quite make it while the trees were in full autumn glory but there were a few orange and yellow leaves on the ground that Solomon collected and gently stuffed in his pockets.

We like to go here at different times of year to witness the changes. The first thing the kids noticed was the ice that has accumulated in the creek. It was actually a nice day and we had to peal of the layers as we hiked up the mountain.

I'd have to say that the best thing about having older kids is that when we go hiking we don't have to worry about sticking together in a tight bunch. We go in all directions, exploring where we want. I can stay behind and take pictures while Jonathan moves up ahead with someone. We can even trust Eli to go ahead or fall behind. It's so nice to be able to do that.

The kids always can find a patch of rose hips to nibble on. These were especially sweet.

It was so nice to get outside together this weekend and steal a bit of sunshine before the cold really sets in. I hope you all had a nice weekend!

following my heart

2011-11-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

Our homeschooling days are always a work in progress. We're human and we're always changing and learning something new about ourselves. We recently made a change and I instantly felt the relief. It's funny how I can get so hell bent on one idea. Then my heart/head shifts and I can see how sticking it out until the end, just to finish something, isn't always the best thing. I have this idea in my head sometimes that if I quit something then I'm a quitter. Well, maybe I am but sometimes quitting is a good thing.

This new change has made it possible for us to enjoy our days, find our creativity again and relax a bit into a happy learning environment.

Solomon can sit on the couch and listen to books on CD. Amelia and I can make apple butter on a weekday. And then there are Legos all day long sometimes.

Happy Friday!

first snow haiku

2011-11-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

Wake up to first snow.

Unearth mittens, long underwear and snow pants.

Already melted, wait for tomorrow.

apple hunting

2011-10-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

Hello....I haven't been around lately. It felt good and necessary. Sometimes you have to let something be for a while when other things take over....namely homeschooling. It's taken over my life. I need to find some balance and I was hoping to have a rhythm going by now but I don't. Things may need to give. Like last week when my husband had been away for two weeks for work and I needed him home so bad. The kids needed him. It's just no fun around here without him. He came home a day early and saved us all. Sweet guy.

We had our first hard frost last week. All these lovely cosmos are now black and wilted. I'm glad I took a picture of them in their glory. It makes me smile to see them. We're harvesting lots of lettuce from our garden as well as the kale, parsley, leeks and carrots. I've been throwing bunches of each in a big pot and making broth. I thought it would taste too green but it's been so good. With a few pho noodles, greens and mushrooms, it's the perfect healthy meal for fall.

Okay, so when my husband got back, we headed to California for some apple picking. I didn't think we would make it to Apple Hill this year but we did. It was the perfect day. I wore shorts because I try and hold out as long as I can. I don't like to bundle up until it's totally necessary you know?

We threw the kids in the car and made it a few miles before I realized I forgot my camera and map. Back home quickly and then back on the road for the 3 hour trip to Apple Hill.

The kids really dig apple picking. I mean you can't really go to Apple Hill and buy the apples in boxes can you? Well, I guess you can and I won't judge you if that's your thing but my kids love the apple hunting. This year I had it all planned out on the map and then when we got there we found out there was only one place that still had u-pick. The kids listened intently on how to twist and not yank the apples from the trees and we got to work. In all, we got 60 pounds of apples. There were lots there to get thankfully. Some years we literally have to hunt for them.

I also picked a couple fuyu persimmons for which I got scolded by the owners' nephew. "Don't you see how it's marked off?" Um, yes but persimmons are my fave. Sorry man. Gotta watch that next time, I just couldn't help myself.

We gave the kids the canvas bags and they filled them to the brim with granny smith apples (and um two persimmons) I wouldn't normally get these kind of apples because I'm not fond of the green tartness of them. We didn't have a choice this time and I was quite surprised that they were so sweet. So there you go! I shouldn't judge an apple until I eat one straight from a tree.

Zephyr met his first cow. The cows met Zephyr. Not a big deal for either of them. We always have to stop here and do the straw bale maze, eat lunch and go for a little walk before heading home.

And while I was away on a blog break, this girl turned 13. Yep, I'm a parent of a teen. Sweet girl makes it pretty easy on me.

Throwing peace and love out to you all! I hope I can make it back here real soon!

happy birthday

2011-09-11T19:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Susie.

Sometimes I wish we could spend a day as kids together just one more time.

I think that would be fun.

just go with it

2011-09-10T17:46:00.000-07:00

I've come off a busy week with homeschooling. Looking forward to some girl time with my daughter. Soccer games, watching movies, eating pizza.

Every time the boys go away and I have these grand plans of cleaning up stinky socks found in odd corners of my house or getting the kitchen clean, absolutely clean for a whole day, I'm pulled in another direction. But whatever happens, I'm going with the flow.

I get a phone call from my husband (right?!). Solomon was stung by a yellow jacket today while camping. I'm going with the flow. Epi pen jabbed into his thigh, emergency room visit. I trust that my husband can handle it. I have complete faith in him.

Because I have a soccer game to go to. And our coach is asking for a parent to assistant ref the game and I'm one of two that have taken a ref class. The other mom isn't there. I'm nervous. I go with the flow. Enjoy myself. Feel good. Run up the sidelines and sweat buckets. Don't think about what I'm doing too much. Just try and do my best. It feels good to run. I'm sure Solomon is just fine.

It's a good day. Solomon is fine. It's all fine.

I come home and meditate on the lawn. I wish I didn't have a lawn. I've read that we have to tend to our lawns so intensely because they just want to grow up. They want to become adults. They want to evolve. I want my lawn to evolve. I feel sorry for my lawn. I cut it back and I repress it. That's what we're all fighting against. We want to be free. I hope someday I can let my lawn be free. Then, I'll be free too.

Thanks for putting up with the poor grammar and random thoughts today.

I just needed to be free.

we heart okra and other bits from the past few weeks

2011-09-05T20:05:00.000-07:00

We heart okra with just a little olive oil, salt and pepper. I have to make sure I give everyone equal amounts or they complain. Tonight we saved up a few days of okra and had a huge skillet full of it. I think everyone was happy. How do you feel about okra?

We've been busy pulling out everything from the garden like beets, carrots, basil and onions. Our freezer is full of pesto! (Anyone want some pesto??) We harvested two of our cabbages and started fermenting those. This is the first year I've tried growing cabbage and I've decided I'm going to plant loads of them next year. They're just so pretty. Cutting up the cabbage and getting it all in the jars is a messy endeavor but worth it!

I've always just froze my beets but this year I canned them all using this recipe. I like that calls for honey and apple cider vinegar.

Our sunflowers rocked this year. These are the biggest we've ever grown. Jonathan went out the other day with the tape measure and they were 10 feet tall! (Amelia says, "Don't forget to tell them they were mine!) And if you're wondering why I don't post a lot of pictures of my daughter, I might be able to explain it this way; she's turning 13 next month. Every time I try and take a picture of her she's either reading or scowling at me for taking a picture of her. She's sweet and lovable the rest of the time though it's just she's being an elusive (almost) teen. I can't complain.

Oooh, delicata squash. You're doing well this year. What didn't do good this year in my garden? Tomatoes and corn. sniff, sniff.

Let's see, in other news we started school last week. These pictures were taken the day before school. The lazy days of summer are gone but we still try and read outside most days and get our garden time in amongst breakfast and getting our clothes on (Solomon stays in his undies most of the day however!) This usually takes us until 10am. : )

They call this "making volcanoes". Water + sand = volcanoes.

We're trying on new thing this year with homeschooling. Because Amelia is in middle school, we thought we'd try one of the public on-line schools for all the kids. I'm really liking it. Well if you talked to me last Tuesday while I was having an overwhelmed moment, I was about ready to send Eli to public kindergarten. But after going to the farmers' market and taking a few deep breaths I decided it was just the first week of school. It's always hard, no matter what.

Other factors that led up to this decision? I think I need a little more structure. The money was a factor.

We have a great teacher to support us. She raises cows for milk, pigs, chickens and has a huge garden outside Winnemucca, Nevada. Her husband is a cowboy. We spent a long time on the phone talking about cows. It felt really good to connect with our teacher.

This weekend Amelia had a soccer tournament in Truckee, CA. We spent much of our time driving back and forth. It was good start to the season. Her team got to the championship and won third place. (I know it's not about the winning...we had fun too)

We've been observing grasshoppers lately. We also found a baby lizard today when were walking the dog/scooting to 7/11 for a slushy. It was the coolest little guy, about 1 inch long. I've never seen a baby lizard before.

And last but not least, my t.v. broke the other day. It's my t.v. that I got 20 years ago when I first moved out of my parent's house. A little 19 inch color job that was faithful to us for a long time. We didn't use it much but for the occasional dvd. When new friends came over to the house, they'd comment on our t.v.-less house. We'd show them behind the curtain in the living room our small little beast that we couldn't even get the basic channels on because of where we live. It's kind of sad in a way. Farewell old friend!

bAckPAckinG!

2011-08-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

Last week we were up in the mountains, backpacking, enjoying the summer and being together. This place is pretty heavenly.

We started out by taking a water taxi from Echo Lake and then backpacking up 800 feet to Lake Aloha, a remote alpine lake. All the kids and dog had their own packs and it was a pretty happy trip up there. We set up camp near the lake where we could climb the granite boulders and swim in the shallow, clear water.

What were the best parts of this trip?

Being together. I know it sounds cheesy but it feels good to leave the world behind and be together.

Throwing our daily routine at home goodbye. Saying hello to backpacking rhythm. Waking up, eating breakfast, doing dishes, swimming, climbing rocks, filtering water, eating lunch, doing dishes, cleaning up camp, eating, filtering water, making hot cocoa and tea, swimming, hanging up the bear bags in the trees, going to bed and waking up to do it all again.

I don't really like sleepless nights which happens inevitably but the first night I got up and just took in the night sky which is so much better in the mountains.

I like living on the wild side. Hanging up our food in the trees so that the bears can't get to it makes the trip just a bit risky!

Skipping rocks, throwing rocks, climbing rocks and camping on rocks.

Being outside my comfort zone. I'm not a fan of deep water. The second day Amelia encouraged me to go "island hopping" with her. Lake Aloha is shallow and filled with rock islands. Some parts of the lake are deep though . We swam from rock to rock together and I'm glad we did it.

I enjoyed carrying that heavy pack. Going down the mountain on the way back made me realize what an accomplishment this was for our family, physically and mentally.

Amelia made us a lemon cake for dessert the second night. We all sang happy birthday to Jon's dad, whose birthday would have been on the 22nd.

Watching our dog really enjoy himself. At times we couldn't find him and we'd look up to see him all the way up the snowbank on the mountain. He was a tired doggy by the end of the trip.

I loved waking up before the sun to enjoy the views. Very rarely do we really get up early and enjoy the beauty of a sunrise.

some weekend harvesting

2011-08-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

And a great recipe for lemony potato salad that we've been enjoying a lot lately.

i am grateful

2011-08-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

We hopped in the car and headed up the mountain. This was the conversation.....

Solomon: Mom, I think I'm coughing up blood.

Me: Seriously?! Have you been picking your nose?

Solomon: Umm...

Me: (Amelia and I glancing at each other in amusement) Well, I'm glad you aren't dying!

Eli: Mom?

Me: Yes, sweet love.

Eli: My lips are cemented shut.

Me: Well, I think they're better now?

Me, Amelia, Solomon and Eli: (laughter)

I am grateful for teetering rocks.

I am grateful for this monolithic hunk of earth and tender new growth.

I am grateful for wildflowers.

taken by Solomon

I am grateful for ginormous tree mushrooms.

I am grateful for laughter and my kids are definitely grateful for crepes with Nutella.

I am grateful for stinky, dirty little boy feet.

I am grateful for my daughter who tells me that I'm beautiful.

I am grateful for so many things. Too many to count.

in the kitchen

2011-08-12T10:21:00.000-07:00

Art and food always seem to go together.

being outside

2011-08-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

I am trying to be outside as much as possible. It's so easy for me to fall into a routine of staying home and "getting things done". The kids need to be outside and I do too.

Last week I started feeling dizzy and my heart was racing. It was a terrible feeling but I told myself that it would pass. By the weekend I felt so weak and drained that I decided to call the doctor on Monday. After some tests the doctor found that my thyroid medicine was too much for me (which is what I suspected) and we lowered my dose. I felt better. Things are well.

But it was pretty stressful and on this beautiful walk in the desert over that weekend, it was all I could do to take step after step up that mountain. It was so enormous up there. We were on the top of the world and all I could do was cry. I don't like it when I get this way but it happens sometimes. What really brought me out of it was being up there. Just being outdoors away from town, away from technology and my laundry pile.

I've realized that I just need my dose of nature every week, every day. Being in my garden isn't good enough.

We went up to the lake last week, just the kids and I. We brought our snacks and just a few other things and set ourselves down on the beach. The water is really high this year because of the amount of snow we got. It's so insanely gorgeous up there. But, I'm a little biased.

It took me a while to really relax. Isn't it true? We don't realize how stressed we can get until we get to somewhere in nature. Then we can start to breathe again. I remember that moment I started breathing again. Amelia and I were in the water hugging each other, smiling and talking. I looked out into the sparkly, afternoon water and just felt a gazillion times better. It was a good day. Now, I'm headed off for a hike somewhere. I don't know where just yet but I'll figure it out when I hop in the car.

Peace!

growing food and flowers

2011-08-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

We are well into summer gardening season and I have to say that I love the green-ess of it all. Not at all lush by others' standards but we're at the peak of green in the the high desert.

The one thing about our area is that the nasty, prickly and dangerous weeds love hanging out with us. Goat's heads anyone? If you've ever stepped on a goat's head or ran over one with your bike, well, you know what I'm talking about. They're stealth ninjas, talented at camouflaging themselves. Not until they reach the size of a large cat, spread out several feet do I notice them. And they produce the most beautiful little yellow flowers capable of sweet talking just about anyone.

What are we growing in our garden this year? Lots of stuff. The usual that everyone grows. We have to have our tomatoes, carrots, basil, kale, sunflowers, onions, etc... We're always learning and evolving with our garden. I tell you what, I will never know everything about growing food.

This year we are growing quinoa for the first time. Well, my daughter is growing it if you ask. But, I water most days and do the weeding. Technically, it's her garden. Each one of us has our own garden area they keeps on getting bigger every year. It's the nature of the beast. This is our quinoa. Isn't it beautiful?

I also enjoy growing flowers. They make me happy.

The thing about growing food is that some years I'll have a bumper crop of one thing and the next year not. It keeps me on my toes. It humbles me and makes me feel grateful....ever so grateful for the farmers that grow food for my family.

summer is.....

2011-08-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

Summer fruit from the farmers' market. We're in a a great summer groove and have made it there every week this summer. Now, if I could get to jam making before it all disappears! The stone fruit has been really amazing this year.

Bouquets of flowers from my kids. I honestly like these beautiful arrangements more than anything I could get from a store.

Playing scrooge, a game Jonathan and I used to play on the weekend with his parents, before kids came into the picture. We're getting Amelia hooked (insert evil laugh).

Going to the lake.

lazy summer days

2011-07-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

It's funny but when the seasons change I still feel like I'm holding on to the previous one a little bit. Like for instance, I thought summer would be a great time for math lessons and a routine that kind of looked like school for us. But as we head on into August I really feel lazy. Maybe it's just the heat or staying up late with the long days but I just feel lazy. I think summer has finally arrived. It just kind of happened without realizing it until now.

The kids got back from camp and I've been inspired by all the fun things they did there. They really liked doing lanyards so, we got some supplies and spent a good portion of the day just getting comfy and weaving.

in the garden

2011-07-23T19:25:00.000-07:00

just me and my little guy

2011-07-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

This week, it's just me and my little guy. My two oldest are at camp, those lucky devils.

Each morning when we wake up, the garden is watered, breakfast is eaten, some chores are done and then we decide what we're going to do that day...just the two of us. He's loved every minute of being an only child for a week.

Last night the ice cream truck came down our street and we raced out front to get a snow cone. This particular one with a gumball surprise in the bottom.

Oh yeah, this snow cone was very special.

He was smitten but I'm sure he'd share if you asked?!

"There's candy flavor, banana, grass, water....no, it's blueberry flavor!"

gosh i love

2011-07-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

Fridays. I really love Fridays. Even though I don't have a "regular" job, I look forward to spending a few days with my husband.

Gosh, I love sleeping children.

Cuz, I know that as soon as this little one wakes up, the chaos starts. But, you know I love it anyway.

I love hiking with my kids, getting them tired out and watching them discover nature. Today, as Eli was racing through the sagebrush he sang, "Nature is good, nature is good!"

Nature is good. Yes, I do agree. Puffy white summer clouds and their reflection in the water. Large pelicans circling overhead. Our dog in a frenzy, chasing frogs through the cattails. A single deer creeping past us quietly and the long stare between us before it bounds away.

I also like the first harvests out of our garden. A single tomato then bowls and bowls of sweet peas that are doing excellent this summer.

And for sure I love summer salads. This one I found in order to burn up all the snap peas. It's really good.

Happy Weekend to you!

summer is here!

2011-07-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

As you may have noticed, I've been unplugged for a while. And I still plan on keeping my computer time to a minimum because it feels very wonderful to be outside in my garden, taking the kids to the park or library or just plain keeping up with my work here at the house. We've also had so many activities that just keep us really busy. It's summer!

we are now jam

We've enjoyed a few thunderstorms in the past few weeks and that smell of the desert after a storm is unforgettable. It makes the weeds grow VERY healthy as well as the things we actually want to grow. Our late frost put us back a few weeks and I've been holding my breath for our garden to mature. Slowly, slowly, it's looking good out there.

Thank you, everyone for sending me notes about Jon's dad. What a shocker that was. It's been a tough month; murky and unsettling. I know that it's part of life. Sometimes I stop and think, wow, he's really gone. It's surreal.

We went to the mountains last weekend to our favorite place. The kids call it the Naked Guy hike because a while back we were sitting in the meadow at the end of our hike and an old guy in his 70's came strutting through the meadow completely naked! So, I'm always on the lookout for naked guys when we go here.

Amelia wasn't too thrilled with this snake she saw on the trail and refused to move past it. I walked near it to show her that it wasn't going to get her. Although you may be able to see in this picture that his mouth is wide open hissing at us. She eventually got past it and caught up with the boys.

The flowers up in the mountains are always one of my favorite things. Just a sampling.

The boys love to wade in the creek. This year the water is really fast and deep because of all the snow we had.

At first they strip down to their underwear and then it's all the way naked. I guess I found my naked guy!

We had a really scary moment when Eli fell into the fast part of the stream and was being taken into the deep water. Luckily his big brother was close to him and grabbed his hand. Eli and I had a long discussion after this about how his big brother was his hero. Solomon was very proud. Lots of hugs to go around after he got out of the water.

I hope to see you again soon. Happy Summer to you! ♥

In Loving Memory of Jon's Dad

2011-06-19T21:35:00.000-07:00


Bhaji and Amelia in December 1998

We have lost someone special to us and it doesn't seem very fair right now.

We weren't done with him here on earth God.

spring break!

2011-05-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

I'm going on spring break from this space.

There's lots to do in the next few weeks like, wrapping up homeschool co-op, planting my garden, spring cleaning and purging, thinking and planning for summer, road tripping to San Francisco to pick up Amelia and giving myself a break from the computer. Besides, I feel like I'm boring you all lately. I have to admit, I am feeling bored lately. I need to find my spark and I know it's not going to come from the computer or anything outside myself. It's got to come from me.

I'll see you on the 1st of June!

xo

all the boys

2011-05-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

Last week Amelia took her first plane ride by herself to visit my dad in Florida. She's there right now having the time of her life. I've been asked so many times whether I miss her. And the answer is YES, of course. But, I know I can't keep her to myself forever. There's going to come a time when she moves out of the house and goes to college and it's going to be hard for me to let her go. Opportunities like this are so valuable in order to take baby steps towards the future. I have to tell you though, when I saw that plane taxi off to the runway, it felt like a great big giant step. And what I've learned is that time is not slipping by too quickly. Amelia has taught me that. She gives me the courage to know that she is completely capable of grown up things. Thank goodness for that. We are exactly where we need to by right now.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, life goes on as usual. This time though, it's just me and the boys. Without the hens, the gender scale at my house would weighs heavily on the boy side. But, even though I'm surrounded by boys, on mother's day mama rules. And what could be better than a day in the outdoors with my boys and some friends of ours that love hiking just as much as we do.

Of course, the boys and I wanted to go to the same place we went last time. This time with friends, we went a little further than before. We discovered some wildflowers that must have just started blooming and a creek to explore.

I hope you were made special on mother's day in just the right way. Whether it was a hug and a kiss or a special homemade gift. Whatever it was for you, I hope it was a good day.

happy mother's day ♥

2011-05-08T16:33:00.000-07:00

I love any day where I get breakfast made for me, cards and art presented to me and maybe a nap in the afternoon. happy mother's day to you!

may day hike

2011-05-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

{Edit to add: I don't know what's going on with intensedebate but comments are just disappearing. I'm leaving it on so they can figure out the problem. Arggg.}

One of our teachers at the homeschool co-op mentioned this place in passing and I was intrigued. Possibly seeing bald eagles and geese nesting on spires? What would be cooler than that? We just had to find this place. {for the locals ~ She said it was in Washoe Valley, on a dirt road right after the guardrail ends on the down side of Washoe Hill going southbound. So, any chance I had to drive that way I would look for the turn off.} On Sunday, we headed out on our adventure.

My husband, the obsessive hiker, knows where all the great places are even though he's only lived here since 2003 and I've practically lived here my whole life. I was jacked up knowing that I (little 'ol me) could surprise him. As we were driving down the hill, he was getting confused about where I was taking him. "Don't worry Honey, I know what I'm doing," I said to him.

Well, it's now my newest favorite place of all time. At least for a nice Spring hike. We have to head up to the mountains when it gets really hot in the valley.

What did we smell: Sagebrush! Lots of Sagebrush.
What did we hear: Quail, Geese, Red-Winged Blackbirds and other various small birds
We Felt: Cool at first but we warmed up. There was a nice breeze.

What did we see:

great climbing rocks

kids having fun


desert peach

brothers helping each other

old V & T railroad bridge and stone work.

geese nesting

old pelt from a coyote maybe? poked it with a stick.

maybe a muskrat lodge?

teeth marks

lots of lizards

old animals bones, maybe cow?

caves, smiling husbands

owl pellets

lots of bones from owl pellets

bird nests

We never saw our eagle but we'll come back again to try.

bits and pieces

2011-05-01T17:56:00.000-07:00

{I'm sorry to anyone who got their comments deleted on the last post. I added an Intense Debate widget and after a day, it disappeared along with the comments. I'm going to try it again and if it doesn't work then, I'll just take it out.}

Today the sun's out and everyone's in the backyard because I kicked 'em all out of the house. Thank goodness for Sundays and Jonathan. He's out there with them giving me a break.

It's been a good week. It's been full and I don't really know if I have much to say so I'll just jump in. I'm pretty tired because I've been going all week without so much as ten minutes for myself. You know what I'm talking about? Yes? So, I'll just tell you what I've been working on. Yes, I've been working on cheese. My milk kefir produces about 2 cups of kefir a day and I've been backed up with about a zillion quart jars of it. Making this soft cheese is pretty easy actually. It's the first time I've made it.

After it was finished, I added some fresh tarragon and other spices. It's so creamy and rich, perfect to crumble on the top of a salad. Which is just what I did next.

It was yummy. But, the bad news is that I really don't handle lactose very well. Getting started on this milk kefir journey has been an experiment to see how much lactose is really in kefir after a day of fermentation. I guess there must be just enough to make me miserable. I could ferment it another day but I knew my water kefir grains were coming in the mail. I've been enjoying and experimenting with them this week.

I've been doing some primary and secondary fermentation with coconut water and then adding lemons, a little concord grape juice and frozen raspberries. I've also been experimenting with just filtered water, maple syrup and pears which works very well. I must be doing something right because my grains have multiplied like crazy and I have four quarts fermenting right now. Isn't it pretty? It's a little freaky how this works and the kefir feels rubbery but it's good stuff.

We broke out the watercolors again.

These little chicks were my hand sewing project I put together for my class this week. I like this tie dyed looking felt. This class has been really fun for me. It's a lot different than doing the pre-school class I did in the past. A lot less stressful. Out of 14 students, I think we have 4 girls. It's fun to watch and listen to the boys sewing while talking about boy things.

Most of my week looked something like this though. And don't be fooled by the blue skies. It was f r e e z i n g out there!

Are you having a nice weekend?

weekend in photos

2011-04-24T16:39:00.000-07:00

gluten free pizza

2011-04-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

A few years back I was trying to find out why I was so sick all the time. Around the same time we went out of town. As I was lying in bed at the hotel I was seriously contemplating whether I should take myself to the emergency room. I stuck it out because that's what moms do. We're pretty strong creatures. Then, when I got home I took some blood tests and the doctor told me I had mono. Over the course of a few months my naturopath worked with me to figure it all out. In passing, she said, "I hope it isn't gluten." As it turned out, I was gluten intolerant and my immune system was so weak from the damage gluten was doing, I was picking up every disease that came along. So, I was finally on the path to wellness but I also began the gluten-free journey. It was definitely bittersweet.

No more eating out at restaurants with happy ignorance. As a matter of fact, eating away from home has been quite the challenge. Even restaurants that say they have gluten free items on their menu have to be completely scrutinized. It's all about hidden ingredients and cross contamination in the kitchen. And then there's just people that are totally unaware. I used to go to this burrito joint and I was explaining to the line guy that I couldn't eat wheat. He immediately brought out the package of flour tortillas and said totally straight faced, "No, these are made with flour."

So, just to make everyone feel better, I had no idea what gluten was 4 years ago.

What have I learned over the past few years? There are so many things I can eat. It's not a death sentence. However, I've also learned that I will never taste the chewy pizza dough made from wheat again. I will never eat the bread that I grew up on. It was hard to say goodbye to gluten. I still feel a little sad watching people make homemade bread made from wheat or other glutenous grains.

But...but, there are so many people these days becoming aware of gluten-intolerance and Celiac disease. There are so many products coming on the market geared towards us folks that can't eat gluten. I made pizza the other day that was so good that if someone asked me to choose between it and the glutenous version, hands down I would choose the gluten-free version. It's made with simple ingredients (tapioca starch and flour, spices). Add to that eggs, milk and Parmesan and you have a beautiful dough that you can actually knead out. To feel the dough and roll it out was heaven. The taste of the dough is perfect. There's no xanthum gum aftertaste. It's chewy and crunchy, just like regular dough made from wheat.

I may try to figure out the recipe on my own sometime but I'll be making this pizza a lot from now on. I just wanted to pass this on to people that might be interested (thrilled maybe) in trying something really good.

surprise!

2011-04-19T19:40:00.000-07:00

Spanish Springs Peak

2011-04-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

We went to Spanish Springs Peak this weekend for a hike. The trail was steep, the weather chilly, the views amazing and by the time we got back to the car we were completely worn out. The wild horses were everywhere. These below were watching us and then started running away along the top of the ridge. It's really a beautiful spot and so close to our home. We can get there in about 20 minutes. That's why I love it here.

The wild horses are in the middle of the photo.

If you could have been there and heard the birds. It was a loud chorus of gulls, meadowlarks and quail.

The start of the trip. It was much colder than I thought it would be.

The boys love finding rocks. They call them all diamonds or gold.

The clouds were also amazing.

The guys found a shooting target with bullet holes scattering it and the rocks behind it.

We all stay pretty close at first then we tend to spread out and go at our own pace.

Reno and Sparks. The mountains you see here are the Sierras.

The hills are dotted with junipers. This little spot looks like a good place to find shelter if you are an animal!

Even the pooch was tuckered out!

from the mouths of babes

2011-04-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

"I'm going to paint because I'm an artist" ~ Eli

I'm always surprised and so proud of what comes out of my kids' mouths. They're not afraid to say it exactly as they see it. When they come into this world they're so pure and full of potential. I feel like my job as a mom is to nurture them and allow them to become anything they want to be whether it's an artist or chef or writer. Whatever they have a passion for, I'll support them in that pursuit.

My kids make me want to be a better person. Have you ever stared into the eyes of one of your kids and thought, "this kid is going to be way cooler than I could ever be!"? My kids make me believe in myself. They make me want to be creative in my own life. They push me to try new ways of looking at myself. For that, I am truly blessed.

I'm starting a new tag called "from the mouths of babes" so that I can document the hilarious, truthful, wise beyond their years, beautiful and crazy things that they say. I'm inviting you to share in the comments (or links to a post) bits of wisdom from your child.

bits and pieces

2011-04-08T12:52:00.000-07:00

(Thank you for all the birthday wishes the past few weeks, it means a lot to me!)

Phew! That was a week. But the best part was the finale ~ an all night barf-fest. Eli developed a fever on Wednesday and I decided that canceling his (and his brothers) party would be premature. He seemed to get better and was fever free on party day. Then Sunday night rolled around and all heck broke loose. The most amusing part of it all was the singing yesterday morning. You'd be surprised at how many silly songs the kids and I and Jonathan can make up about vomit! I guess that's called turning lemons into lemonade?

I'm breathing deeply and fully right now, feeling relieved that last week went so well considering all that had to be accomplished!

The weather has been a mixture of glorious sun and swirling snow. I read in the paper that the Sierra's haven't gotten this much snow in a very long time. Something like 50 years and the wildlife will benefit greatly from it. We've been having bear problems the last few years with the fires destroying their food and drought limiting their food sources in the mountains. They've been heading down into the valley and causing quite the stir. Good snow.

So, back to the warm weather. We've been getting out in the garden and really cleaning up the place. We've been cutting down the old growth in our flower gardens and we've finally moved our chicken fence and made it into a pea trellis. On Sunday, I put on shorts for the first time this season and was blinded by my white legs. We've also been enjoying backyard bonfires and marshmallows.

And the next morning, the same view looked something like this!

I'm a few weeks into a hand sewing class I'm co-teaching at the home school co-op and I get pretty excited about projects. Last week we made frog bean bags. But before we cut out a whole bog full of frogs I had to make sure the kids could make them. So, I made a few prototypes filled with popcorn kernels and button hearts. The best part about this class is that I co-teach it and I don't have to cut out all 15 of these patterns every week!

I also have to share with you a delicious recipe for lentils that a friend e-mailed me. (thank you Rachael!) Honestly, I love cooking and I love good, simple, hearty, fast, cheap and kid friendly meals. I have this fetish for lentils and we've actually made this twice in the past two weeks. I'm going to try and make this recipe with red lentils but I love the look of yellow.

The recipe originally came from Sunset Magazine but I changed it a bit.

Ingredients: 2TB ghee, 4 cloves garlic, 2 cups yellow or brown lentils, 5 cups vegetable broth, 1 TB grated fresh ginger, Grated peel to one lemon, 1/4 cup lemon juice, salt and pepper, cilantro and lemon wedges for garnish.

Melt butter in a 3 quart pan over medium heat, add garlic and cook until just beginning to brown (about 1 minute).

Add lentils and stir to coat with butter, then add the broth. Simmer for about 20 to 30 minutes until lentils are tender.

Add ginger, lemon peel, juice, salt and pepper. Serve over brown rice with lemon wedge and cilantro garnish.

Please let me know if you try it! ♥

My sweet boy turns 9!

2011-04-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

Solomon was born 4 years and 7 days before Eli. It's been difficult to really make each one feel special when their birthdays are so close together but I've been giving it the old college try. I guess that's why I haven't been posting the last week. Between soccer almost every day, cupcakes to bake and all the rest of life to manage, I've been busy.

So, I was thinking how I could do a post about Solomon, who by the way is so opposite from Eli that I wonder sometimes if they're really brothers. I decided to look through my photo albums and find some pictures of him when he was a baby. Can I tell you that looking at them again was so emotional for me?! It reminded me of how special and fragile these early years are for them. I was reminded of how much he's grown and how much I love this boy. I was also reminded that I need to take more pictures of myself with my kids. I need to hand over the camera to Jonathan more often!

Here's a stroll down memory lane with Solomon, just a few random shots that caught my eye....

I remember how hard it was to add another child to the family. How could I balance the love and attention? Some days I remember barely making it through. I remember taking a walk with Amelia before Solomon was born. I held her hand very tight. I couldn't imagine loving any child more than her. When I had Solomon as you know, you have enough love for two children, it's just learning how to balance that's hard. It wasn't until Solomon was about two that I was able to get better at balancing.

Amelia was and still is the most loving and patient of older sisters. She loves her brothers so much.

Here, Solomon met his first cow. I remember how scared he was.

Solomon became a big brother a week before he turned 4. He takes his job very seriously.

We rented a Jaime Oliver video from the library when he was four. He decided then and there that he was going to be a chef. Here, he's made for me a piece of cheese with lettuce and ant garnish. Yum. He was very proud. I think there's something to this chef thing. He's my biggest critic and encourager when I cook for him. He's always describing the subtle flavors in my food. If I cook something that isn't that good, he'll let me know! He makes me want to be a better home chef.

Solomon is very silly sometimes and loves to laugh. He's very sensitive and sweet and gets embarrassed very easily.

Solomon LOVES his garden. Solomon is very intuitive and can pick up very subtle things in human interactions. When we're alone together he likes to talk to me about his deep feelings. He loves to draw pictures of machines and inventions he'd like to make. He melts my heart. Happy Birthday Solomon!!

2011-04-02T18:08:00.000-07:00

My sweet and spicy April Fools baby turned 5 on Friday. I know we all gasp when our babies have birthdays. "I can't believe he's one!, I can't believe he's 10!, I can't believe he's 30!" Well, I can't believe my baby turned 5. I just really can't believe it. He's such a blessing and just the right amount of sweet and spicy.

Eli likes using my phone to take pictures. So, this post is dedicated to his birthday and his perspective on life.

Here are a few things you may not know about Eli...

1. When he grows up he wants to have a monster truck with flames painted on the side.

2. Eli melts my heart when he tells me often, "I love you sweetheart!" I don't know where he got that!

3. When he wants to get our attention, he's screams "Hey people!" Everything he says is in the scream voice. This dear child has only one volume.

4. He loves a good cup of tea but he prefers chai with honey and milk.

5. He was born on April Fool's Day into a big tub of water in my living room. My first home birth.

6. He loves to draw. He'll draw all day long.
7. He always wants us to walk down the hall with him to use the restroom. I think he just wants someone's undivided attention.

8. After reading the "Little House" books, he insists he has golden hair.
9. He goes through about a box of bandaides a week.

10. He adores animals and will lovingly torture them to no end.

Happy Birthday Eli♥

We're still in love

2011-03-29T12:14:00.001-07:00

We're so in love with our little furry boy Zephyr. It's his 1st birthday today.

When we met you, we knew you were the one. Our hearts melted and we became a family with dog. At first, you were so shy but now you're quite comfortable with us.

You take your job as protector very seriously and ever night you wake up and come sniff us to make sure we're still there.

You love finding a sliver of light on the floor and stretching out to take advantage of the warmth. You love eating chicken shit.

And we're so in love with you. I don't think you doubt that for one minute.

Happy Birthday!

weekend planning

2011-03-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here with the south facing shades completely open, the sun is pouring in the family room and it's somewhat pleasant (yet windy) outside.

The fence has been mended and Jonathan is outside right now working on a movable cage to grow greens under for the chicken yard. Those chickens wake me up every morning wanting attention. For a simple bird, they sure know how to get their way. Hopefully this cage will allow us to grow greens for them all summer.

I crawl out of bed every morning at 6:38 am (earlier and earlier every day by a few minutes) to give them scratch and the compost scraps. If they like what I bring them, they'll let my kids and I to sleep in a bit longer! Chickens can be extremely loud in the morning and have been known to crow without the presence of a rooster.

What they really want are some greens....but I guess a bucket of worms would work too.

Jonathan lifted the boards on the compost bin so that they can scratch at the good stuff before we sift out our finished soil.

The scene on Saturday morning looked something like this.

Each of my three kids quickly came over to the table in order to get dibs on their seed packets. They're very into gardening. Solomon wants more room every spring to grow his sunflowers, gourds and watermelon. Amelia begs Jonathan every weekend to take a walk down the street with his wheelbarrow to pick up loads of manure for her garden. Eli just wants to grow flowers on his plot of land at this point. I wonder if I'm going to have any garden space left by the time they're teenagers! I have to hold tight to my space out there.

We've just gotten seeds from various stores. There's no special place we got our seeds from this year. We always end up with far too many seeds though. Sometimes I want to be more organized but it's so much fun for the kids to pick out seeds from the display.

What I've been thinking about for a while is changing the way I garden. I got a few books from the library about permaculture and I'm diving into them tonight.

bits and pieces

2011-03-24T21:02:00.001-07:00

After I read the comments on my last post I realized I didn't quite explain myself! So, let me tell you that I bought this applique project at Sugar City a few years ago. It's the kind of project that keeps you dreaming and waking up in the morning with the solution to make it work. And it does come with instructions. That's the funny part. The method didn't quite work for me but I figured it out the other day. I really do need my own work space but the corner of the family room works too. Here's how it's going....

This week has been rainy, slushy and cold. The wild and crazy weather started last Friday with an outrageous wind that whipped through our neighborhood and blew down part of our fence. Good times. I am very thankful for the snow, unlike the rest of the country, we had a really mild winter. A couple good things about the snow. First, it meant that the wind stopped and second, soccer practice and the games scheduled for this weekend have been canceled! Okay, I'm not totally thrilled about 4 nights a week of soccer but I'll warm up to the idea as soon as the weather warms up. I promise.

Actually, the weather can't stop me from dreaming about my garden and wanting to get outside and work in the dirt. By this time of year it looks pretty drab and lifeless out there. I want the green to come back because it looks so nice out there in the summer. Well, a little nicer.

I've also been purging my house. I know it's serious when I dream about it. (I guess I've been dreaming a lot!) The pantry has been a total mess and I sometimes can't find a thing in there. I didn't realize until recently that I had three more jars of tomato sauce from last summer.

And I think that purging makes want to cook things to fill it back up. Someone gave us some grapefruit at the homeschool co-op, then I craved it. At the store, I could smell the grapefruit. When I went to visit my great aunt last week she was making her mom's recipe for marmalade. It smelled so good, I just had to make some for myself and I can read the writing on the wall when it's just too obvious to ignore. It's a combination of lemon, grapefruit and orange marmalade that my kids didn't like it but I think it's pretty good. I guess there are marmalade lovers or marmalade haters! I'll keep on making it and hoping that it grows on them.

Jonathan has had a few weekends out of town and the last time he went away to San Francisco he brought back this huge bag of books from his parents. They were his or his brothers when they were kids. (Hey Ben, you can borrow them whenever you want!) So, I'll be dusting off and cleaning those book cases we've been storing in the garage and bringing them inside.

Since I wrote last, I've been kefir making, kefir learning and kefir loving. I've also been meeting kefir making locals through Freecycle. I placed an ad on Freecycle for kefir grains and one person was kind enough to offer half of hers. Turns out she's a really interesting grad student who studies birds at the local university. She also hooked me up with a wonderful kefir sight that I'd like to share with you here.

Before I was using the freeze dried kefir starter from the health food store and it actually was a lot of work - heating the milk and letting it cool. With live kefir, I just place the kefir grains in milk and let it do it's magic.

My kefir grains are very productive and the end product is so mild and delicious. We've been making kefir smoothies every morning.

As you can see, I've been a busy little bee. I guess it is spring.

twelve princesses

2011-03-16T18:08:00.000-07:00

This is my new-old project. I don't know why I start projects, get so excited about them, then put them away just to fret over it for months. I think I'm terrified I won't be able to finish them properly or perfectly.

I've been cleaning out my house lately. I can't believe how much stuff just sits around unfinished or unused. I decided I need to finish this project. I need to finish it for the sake of finishing but also I would like to enjoy the process.

This is a promise to myself to work on it every day.

springtime

2011-03-10T15:28:00.000-08:00

Spring is showing herself more and more lately ~ the robins are everywhere doing their spring dance, we've been waking up to the sweet smell of rain more often, the kids and I have been spending the afternoons cleaning up our garden and hanging out with the chickens. But really, I'd say the one thing that really says spring for me is finally ditching my winter shoes and spending all day long either barefoot or in flip flops.

The best part of spring is it's mild weather here in the high desert. In the summer I wouldn't think about heading out in the afternoon for the dog park. That's why we have to take advantage of the spring weather.

And if you're at the dog park, you might as well collect some rocks. That is if you're OBSESSED with rocks. You might even ask your mom if you can jam a few in her back pocket.

Spring also brings new and exciting growth for kids. I've been told that trees grow the most in spring as well as kids. One sign of reading readiness is skipping (or being able to cross the mid-line. This is a great article of reading readiness). I asked Solomon if he could skip while we were out and he just started skipping! He just started skipping and skipping. Then Amelia joined in. It was a big skip fest. I told Solomon I was calling him Skippy from now on. He thought that was hilarious.

I guess we have finally made the transition to spring. Transition can be hard for me sometimes but I just have to remember to live in the here and now. I have to be grateful for every blessing in my life. Like for instance, watching my kids enjoy the outdoors, loving life like only kids can.

I can't believe it's Friday already. Have a great weekend! And remember if you're out collecting rocks, wear a belt!

it's a morning thing

2011-03-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

One of the benefits of homeschooling is that cooking and eating our meals together is part of their education. Sometimes we'll sit down to a bowl of cereal but most days we eat warm breakfasts that the kids can help make.

One of their favorites ~ pancakes with banana or apple. Lately we've been adding vanilla and cinnamon. They also like dutch babies, egg in a hole or omelets. Of course, I hear a lot of requests for oatmeal. By the end of the day, there's lots of dishes to clean!

Eli told me to stay out of the kitchen while he made his pancakes. I stayed close enough for me to feel comfortable with him around a hot pan but far enough away for him to feel he was doing this all on his own.

Not bad for a kid. His favorite part was eating the "baby" pancakes made by the little dribbles of batter.

I have to remember this isn't about me and my concerns over a hot pan or the very odd shaped pancakes that result in a four year old making them. It's about the experience of a young boy and wanting to instill in him a love for cooking and the confidence he gains in knowing that I believe in his ability.

making kefir

2011-03-03T15:53:00.001-08:00

I would say that kefir is one of the easiest fermented foods you can make.

The milk is heated to 180 degrees Fahrenheit , cooled to 75 degrees, mixed with the kefir starter and left out at room temperature in a sterile container for a day, then refrigerated. The thing is, it tastes a bit like buttermilk, which could be absolutely normal. But I don't know. I've been using the freeze dried kefir from the health food store.

In the book, Wild Fermentation by Sandor Katz, he recommends a company call G.E.M. cultures which sells a few different types of cultures that are live. I also should try my local food co-op to see if they offer live cultures. The benefit of live cultures is that they can be reused again and again. Any comments or suggestions are welcome!

love, february 26

2011-02-27T00:50:00.000-08:00

We try to hike every weekend. Easier said than done right? While getting out the door is less than peaceful sometimes, what comes when we get to our destination is pretty darn awesome. If I could sum up our experiences being outdoors it would be "discovery". We discover things about ourselves, we discover the best way to motivate our kids to keep moving, we discover things about natural history and we discover things about human history.

These pictures were taken a few weekends ago. I loaded them a few days ago and while I've not been stellar at blogging on a regular basis lately, I didn't want to throw this away.

This canyon is a beautiful place. It's shady in spots and in some, the sun was pouring over the snow displaying a shimmering light show that I couldn't quite capture with the camera. We continued up the hill, sometimes slowly and sometimes at a fast pace to find the warmth again.

The last time we were here, we were startled by a horse's neigh. As we looked up the hill and behind us, we saw a herd of wild horses. I think the horse wanted to say hello or perhaps tell us that we weren't welcome.

Along the canyon, the kids played in snow, we found animals prints, marveled at the view and eventually found the wild horse trail that we followed up the canyon. This, my friends, is quality family time.

This is the same canyon that the Donner Party and other pioneers traveled down to reach the Truckee Meadows and beyond to California. I tried to imagine myself on this trail in 1846. Wouldn't it be fun to travel back in time to see the wagons navigating this narrow canyon and their excitement in seeing the valley below? As always and as Jonathan always says, "It was a good day."

Thanks to Kerry for hosting a month of love posts.
Hello March!

love, february

2011-02-24T15:11:00.000-08:00

I love 4H.

(Amelia in the car, leaving early in the morning for the cavy show)

A few weeks ago we went to the local 4H small animal show where the kids show their guinea pigs (a.k.a. cavies), rabbits and chickens.

(We love to see all the other animals at the show, especially the poultry)

Amelia has had guinea pigs for 6 years and she's loved every minute of it. She loves her animals and takes good care of them. We actually have to wash and blow-dry our pigs before every show. She knows more about guinea pigs than anyone would care to know. She's bred her pigs several times and been witness to their births. It's been such a great experience for her. For all of us.

(Aren't these rabbits cool? I love looking at all the different kinds of rabbits)

But, all good things come to an end eventually. Ever since we've welcomed a dog into the family, our attention has moved away from our pigs to our dog. It's hard not to since our dog is so much more enjoyable. Our puppy has made his way deeply into our hearts. Along the way, I've pushed Amelia to make the hard decision to move away from cavy 4H to dog 4H. That was my plan all along. You know how us moms are! After all, cleaning guinea pig cages every week for 6 years wears on a mom.

(The rabbits at the show table waiting to be judged)

We finally made it to our first dog 4H meeting last Monday and it was so much fun! Not only do the kids run the meeting, taking turns each month doing a presentation but, two of Amelia's old friends from 4H are in this club. After learning about the anatomy of the dog's nose and learning about their sense of smell ( complete with play dough to make a 3D model), the kids spent the next hour with their dogs training them.

(Amelia awaiting her turn for showmanship)

(Amelia doing showmanship)

Tomorrow, if all goes well, we are handing off our last two piggies to a homeschooling mama that lives is Winnemucca. She has two young girls who would like to get into 4H. I want very much for our pigs to be loved, something that they've been lacking since our dog came along. They deserve it.

(Eli talking to his friend about rabbits)

I've been so thankful for everything the keeping of cavies has taught our family. It's been a great ride. But, I think what's coming next will be just as amazing. I can't wait.

love, february 22

2011-02-22T07:18:00.001-08:00

I love a yummy breakfast.
Eggs from our chickens.
Gluten free toast with beach plum jam.

What's your favorite breakfast?

love, february 19

2011-02-19T20:34:00.001-08:00

snow + hot springs = total silliness

We went to the hot springs yesterday. The snow was falling, the steam was rising and we left fully soaked in hot mineral water. Gosh, I love the hot springs!

love, february 18

2011-02-18T09:00:00.000-08:00

Finally, finally we have some snow. I was beginning to worry. It's just been so warm here this winter. Yesterday the kids played in the snow until after dark and then came in very tired and very happy. As I write this, the snow is gently falling outside. I love snow.

The other day we were surprised to see this wild rabbit in our yard which is a first! They are all around the area but since the houses were built, they've been displaced. When I told Jonathan about it, he laughed and said, "rabbits love lettuce!"

Oh well, I don't mind sharing a little lettuce with them this summer.

love, february 7

2011-02-07T20:25:00.000-08:00

I love puzzles. Actually, I love that my husband loves puzzles
and gets the kids interested in them.

Jonathan's parents sent this one to us. They got it at the Truro dump. It's quite the ingenious idea. In Truro, you don't get your trash picked up. Instead you take your trash to the dump. There, they have a little building called the "swap shop". It's all really neat and organized (at least the last time I was there). You can take what you like or leave something that someone else can use. We've gotten lots of stuff from the dump!

love, february 6

2011-02-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

I've been under the weather.

Yesterday Jonathan offered to take the boys for a walk down by the Truckee River. So, Amelia and I stayed home together. While she was doing her thing, I got comfortable on the couch with my knitting and some hot tea to melt the gunk in my throat.
The dishes would have to wait.

I'm making the hourglass sweater from Last Minute Knitted Gifts. It's been on the needles for 6 months but lately I've been working on it a lot. Maybe because it just drives me crazy to see unfinished projects lying around but I also hope to maybe wear it before summer. And I can actually see the finished sweater in my mind. Before I was just so intimidated by it but I read the pattern over and over until it really sunk in. I think I may officially be a knitter now! I've only been knitting for 13 years!

While clicking and sipping, I listened to Carrie Elkin's Call It My Garden CD. Here's another link for Carrie and a video at the end. I had heard in on NPR's Risky Biscuit, Hayseed Hoot earlier in the day and decided I had to buy it. Does anyone know about her? I love her voice and it was just the kind of music to play while knitting and watching the clouds come in.

The boys (human and canine) finally came home all excited from their trip, chattering about the rocks they found and what they learned about the sewage treatment plant. All exciting boy things.

The calm was gone but I was really glad to see them. I love lazy Saturdays!

being vulnerable

2011-01-30T18:03:00.000-08:00

When I started blogging 2 years ago, I felt more creative and free to put myself out there. Then it sank in. People were actually reading my blog.

I wondered why anyone would read what I was doing even though I began blogging because I was so inspired by the blogging world around me. I enjoy reading what everyone is doing - from the mundane to the most creative.

When I read the post Renee wrote this weekend, she linked to this TED talk. Everything became clear to me about why I've been struggling with blogging. I want very much to feel connected but I've also been feeling so vulnerable.

I've needed to find the courage to be imperfect.
I've needed to ride the wave of vulnerability.

I've done many things on purpose in order to grow as a person. We all have. Vulnerability is painful and takes courage but I think we all know it's the birthplace of joy, love, creativity and belonging. No pain, no gain...

I've also learned that I need others to show a bit of vulnerability

in order for me to feel connected to them.

So, I continue to blog,
to find the courage to put myself out there,
to grow as a person
and make those connections.

bits and pieces

2011-01-26T19:08:00.000-08:00

I found Eli's green dragon in the hall today, minus his eyes.
Our puppy had guilt written all over his furry face.

When I finally gathered up the courage to tell Eli about the accident,
he didn't cry or chase Zephyr around the house. He just said, "oh no" in his most concerned voice, then went back to playing. I couldn't help but laugh. Then I fixed his dragon up with button eyes.

Every day I've been taking pictures, writing a post in my mind.
Then it just doesn't happen.

We went to the hot springs last week. We came home, ate dinner and fell asleep.

We have one more thank you to write. Getting done with this very important task brings final closure to the holiday season. That and finally putting the Christmas boxes in the garage to sleep for another year.

We've been working on Valentines.

And that's just a few of the things that have been filling our days.

This moment

2011-01-21T07:43:00.000-08:00

This moment, a moment to savor.

welcome!

2011-01-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my new home!

Over the next few weeks, when I have time, I'll be settling down in this new space.

I feel positively positive about making this change. A fresh start.

So, let's go walking.

I will be looking carefully in every nook and cranny for the beauty.

We'll be getting muddy because being outdoors is one of my most favorite things in the whole world. I'll be cooking, crafting and learning at home with my three beautiful kids.

I hope you'll join me!